I did it. I bit the bullet and casually strolled back into the world of internet dating. I say casually strolled as it took me about three weeks to take my profile off the “hidden” setting so people could actually find me. And once I got the guts to do that, I rarely logged on anyway. Making the most of my membership? Not a chance. Getting the most bang (literally) for the buck? Nope. Feeling much less pressure than the last time I joined the online dating world? HELL TO THE YES.
There are a few differences between my internet dating experience now versus the last time I was a part of that world, two years ago during the summer of 2008. The biggest difference: This time my mother not only did not pay for my membership, but she does not even know I have one. Let us all breathe a sigh of relief.
But it’s more than just mom not paying and feeling invested. It is simply her not knowing that is allowing me to take this experience at my own pace. I’m not feeling pressure; I’m not feeling rushed. The site I am using is actually extremely annoying and not user friendly and very glitchy and just frustrating (nothing like NYC and Love will be when it officially launches!). As a result, I don’t want to deal with it much. Also, I have not been impressed for the most part with the guys I’ve seen or the guys who’ve seen me. At all. And so I care even less.
Yet. I am still on it. And I am so happy with my decision. Because even by doing minimal effort, I’m doing more than I had been toward finding someone to be happy with. For every 100 bad emails I get, there is one good one. For every 200 ugly pictures, one cute one. And sometimes the one good email, the one cute picture, is enough to make it worth it. You really do never know who you will find and it is worth it to give it your best, or even your worst, effort. Better than doing nothing.
And when you don’t feel the pressure, as I don’t, it’s easy to let the good emails happen when they happen. But I’m not worried about myself at all. It will happen for me, I know it. Whether it is through the website or not, I know I will be fine. My mom is worried about me being alone and miserable, yes. Only this time, she doesn’t have to know. And without the stress, and taking it at my own pace, online dating isn’t quite so bad!
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2 Comments
Good for you for getting back into online dating. It can be scary but it sounds like the right decision!
For me online dating is a bit like going fishing, throw your bait out there and if you get a bite, then great, if not, hopefully you had fun. Thinking of it as a passive exercise is the best way to enjoy it because there’s no pressure, which is how your dating life should be in real life!